Sad News

I just received an email from one of my former teachers. There were two words in the subject box: Sad News.

As I braced myself before clicking on it, I reflected on my last phone conversation with her when she called me several weeks ago. It had been several months since we had talked and we were catching up. As the conversation waned, she blurted, “I’m pregnant.” In her late thirties, with a college-age child and another in middle school, she was still trying to deal with this unexpected news and sort out her feelings.

She asked me not to tell anyone, wanting to wait until the first trimester had passed before making the news public. She needed time to get over the shock and get used to the idea. She wanted to be able to prepare herself mentally for the reactions from well-meaning friends and relatives.

“You’re pregnant? At your age? Better you than me!”

“You’re pregnant? Did you plan this baby?”

“You’re pregnant? Again? But your kids are practically grown!”

“You’re pregnant? What were you thinking?”

I was touched that she wanted me to know, tried to say the words of encouragement that I would want to hear at such a time, and told her that I would be praying for her and her baby.

Coming back to the present, I opened her email and read:

I had a doctor appt today. He said that the baby no longer has a heartbeat. I will have a D&C later today. As shocked as we were to have gotten pregnant, we are equally shocked to have it end this way.

Thanks for all your encouragement!

That day when we were talking, she never intended to tell me. It just came out. It’s not that I said anything profound to her that day. I didn’t do anything special. I just said those things I would want to hear.

“You’re pregnant? I am so happy for you!”

“You’re pregnant? This is one lucky baby. You are a wonderful mom!”

“You’re pregnant? How wonderful that your kids are old enough to help!”

“You’re pregnant? I will be thinking of you and praying for you and your baby!”

It’s just a good rule of thumb, a good golden rule.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you. “

Luke 6:31