Thursday, January 25, 2007

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Generally speaking, I avoid mirrors. In the morning, I do what I have to do to get ready. I make sure I look ok before heading out the door, and that is it. That is usually the last time I check myself in the mirror. As long as I don’t look, I can forget for hours at a time that I am 50 years old; on the inside I feel the same as I did in my 20’s or 30’s, with the possible exception of a few joints.

Recently, the whole family flew to Kansas City to be with Kindred Spirit and her husband, Sammy, for a very important event. On the way there, I was allowed to pre-board with Sweet Pea and the baby to help her carry all of the things that go with traveling with a baby. The rest of the family went through the usual line.

However, I must confess to you now that I was deeply wounded upon our return a few days later. We had booked a flight late in the evening (past my bedtime, actually). I was standing in the pre-boarding area at the Southwest Airlines gate with my daughter, Sweet Pea. She was holding the baby and I had my purse, her computer bag, her diaper bag, and the umbrella stroller. The attendant announced that they were now accepting pre-boarders. She then turned toward my daughter, took her ticket, looked me up and down and said, “Grandma will have to get in line with the other passengers.”

Sweet Pea looked at me apologetically and said, “I’m sorry mom. I’ll take that stuff so you won’t have to carry it.” Ever the martyr, I sighed, “Don’t worry dear. I’ll just take it with me; I’ll be fine.” Then I turned on my heel and schlepped my load to the end of the long line of passengers, hoping to shame the thoughtless attendant. Turning around at the end of the line, I was disappointed to discover that she had not even noticed!

What bothered me more than the public humiliation of being kicked out of the pre-boarding line was her assumption that I was a Grandma. Don’t get me wrong; I am proud of being Grandma. It is the best. It just seems to me, from a customer service standpoint, that, having kicked me out of the line, she could have softened the blow by pretending she didn’t notice I was old.

I always laugh when the twenty-five-year-old salesman in the store says, “Hello, young lady!” knowing full well that he is trying to make a sale. A more obvious attempt at flattery is when I am shopping with my daughters and salesman asks if we are sisters. Ridiculous or not, I much prefer their calculated flattery to the callous reminder from a stranger that I not only feel old, I look old!

The child in me wanted to stick out my tongue and blurt, “Well, I may be a 50-year-old grandma, but you are at least 60!” The sarcastic teenager in me wanted to roll my eyes and say, “Whatever. At least I’m not wearing a Christmas bow on top of my head!” (Yes, she was wearing the kind you buy in packages of 50 with a sticky square on the bottom). The enlightened, college-educated, 20-something in me wanted to say, “I have a right to pre-board. They didn’t hesitate to pre-board me on the way up here!” The 30ish mother of four would have pleaded, “Please, my daughter is traveling alone with the baby. She needs me to help her!” The 40ish professional would have leaned in and asked to see her supervisor, but the 50-year-old grandma realizes that life is too short and time too precious to waste on things that do not matter. Maybe there are advantages to getting older!

What advantages have you found to getting older?

“He who guards his mouth and his tongue

keeps himself from calamity.”

Proverbs 21:23

7 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Sharon said...

I had to laugh because I'm at the 40ish professional stage in life, and I'm 30ish. :0) To answer your question... Having a teenager I see things everyday that I am advantaged and blessed to be older. Been there and I wouldn't want to go through it again! The age and life gives countless advantages on any trick he may want to pull. LOL

Becky said...

Never, never want to be a teen again.
Thanks for writing, Sharon.

Becky said...

Carole,
Now that's what I'm talking about! You are a life saver today (and a young looking grandma yourself).

Ame said...

"realizes that life is too short and time too precious to waste on things that do not matter. Maybe there are advantages to getting older!"

this is where i try to live, but i need to remember that verse, too - how very true it is!

i've tried to comment here before but am always turned away - i'll see if this goes thru.

btw - i think we're a bridge-hop away from each other!

Ame said...

yay!!! it worked!!!

i've so enjoyed your writings

Becky said...

Thanks Ame. I enjoy your blog as well.