Friday, January 19, 2007

Duped

It appeared too bazaar to be true. I couldn’t believe it when I read it. Then, I googled it and found story after story about it, even though I didn’t find the original story in the New York Times. Unfortunately, as pointed out by my bloggity friend, Jeff, I should have gone to:

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/fivedays.asp

Had I done that, I would have discovered that this sensational story (see previous post) was in fact, an urban legend. Truth was, it was so unbelievable I couldn’t wait to tell it again.

Isn’t that just like gossip? You hear something. You may even “check it out” by asking ”have you heard?” or “can you believe?”, all in the guise of making sure the story is true as you heard it. Then, at some point, it becomes your own personal, public service announcement.

You lean in, grim faced, and whisper, “I guess you heard she is filing for divorce.”

Or, how about, “They say he has a drinking problem.”

Who are “they”? Why are “they” always anonymous? It’s like there is a “gossip protection program”, similar to the witness protection program. Spread enough juicy gossip, and your identity will be protected. You will go by the code name, “they”. I have tried asking who “they” are and usually get the response, “Well, I don’t want to say.”

Just as I didn’t go to the New York Times archives to check the story out, we seldom go to the person being gossiped about to see if there is truth in what we are hearing. I will admit that in many cases, it would be awkward to do that. Can you imagine approaching the raging alcoholic? “So, I hear CPS got called out to your home last week?!”

I actually did something similar once and it blew up in my face. A friend from church said, with all authority, “Suzy is pregnant! I am so happy for her!” Minutes later, I ran into Suzy and shouted, “Congratulations! When is your baby due?” She exploded. “I am sick of people asking me if I’m pregnant just because I’ve gained 15 pounds!” I was mortified.

Even though I try not to gossip, I find it difficult to rebuke others who do. Perhaps you’ve been in similar situations. The talk is innocent, when all of a sudden, without warning, the other person blurts out some juicy gossip. I will usually feign disinterest, then change the subject, and silently vow to let the story die with me. My hesitancy to chastise others who gossip stems from the knowledge that I struggle with this sin as well. My mother would say that is like “the pot calling the kettle black”.

What does God have to say about our urge to gossip? “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels: they go down to a man’s inmost parts (Proverbs 26:22). Trustworthy people do not do it (Proverbs 11:33). They keep secrets; whereas a gossip betrays confidences, separates close friends (Proverbs 16:28), and keeps quarrels going that would otherwise die down (Proverbs 26:20). Finally, we are warned to avoid gossips (Proverbs 20:19). Proverbs 6:16-19 lists the seven things that are detestable to the Lord. Sins of the tongue, including gossip, are in the mix. That ought to make me think twice the next time I’m tempted to gossip.

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