What Need Am I Trying to Fill?

"Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you,

the part of you that chooses,

into something a little different from what it was before...

either into a creature that is in harmony with God,

or into one that is in a state of war with God.

Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or the other."

~ C.S. Lewis ~
Mere Christianity

She stood before this group of high school girls, clearly nervous, yet determined to share her message. She is a happily married Christian woman, yet, in her other life, she was a drug addict, a topless dancer, and finally, a prostitute.

She held the girls in rapt attention, because her life began in similar fashion to theirs. She grew up living with her mom and dad in an upper middle class home. She was a “daddy’s girl” who loved sports and especially riding her horse. She attended a private, Christian school, and was very involved in church; she led the idyllic life, until she reached middle school. The summer after 8^th grade, she and her mom left their home in Arizona and came to Texas to visit her aunt. It was there that her mom announced that she was leaving her dad. She had no warning, no chance to say goodbye to her friends, her church, her school, and most importantly, her dad.

This one event initiated the spiral. She immediately latched on to another girl in pain, and together they began experimenting with drugs, which led to skipping school, and finally, running away from home. Shortly after, she was raped. She lived on the streets for awhile, until circumstances forced her to bow her head in shame and return home.

She tried to clean up. A very intelligent girl, she managed to pull in excellent grades during the week, but it wasn’t long before her weekends consisted of alcohol, drugs, partying, and casual sex. She ended up dropping out of school and moving in with a boyfriend. She heard through a friend that a lot of money could be made topless dancing, so she entered that world. Tragically, this led to prostitution, which consumed her life and fed her drug habit for the next 10 years.

Sometime in her late 20’s, she stumbled upon New Friends, New Life, formerly known as Amy’s Friends. This non-profit organization helps women get out of sexually oriented businesses and provides the support and training to finish their educations and get jobs. She went through the program and now works for the organization. She is truly one of their success stories. Part of her ministry is to speak to young girls about the choices she has made and the consequences she has faced as a result.

I will never forget the day she came to speak to the girls at our school. There were two things in particular that she said that resonated with me. As she explained the importance of making wise choices that determine the course of your life, she used the analogy of a geometric angle. In drawing a 90 degree angle, if, instead, you reach the apex and veer slightly, the small adjustment will get larger and larger as your line leaves the apex. She said that it is the same with choices. One choice leads to another, which leads to another, which will either take you closer to your goal or further and further away from it.

During the question and answer period, the girls had a lot of “Why?” questions. Many of the girls in the audience came from broken homes, and her background of a broken home, Christian education, etc. made them a little uncomfortable. She talked about many of the things that she did in response to what was happening in her life, and what she was trying to accomplish. In every incidence, she said she was trying to fill a need that she had at the time. She took drugs to numb the pain. She lived on the streets because of her shame in being raped. She became a topless dancer and a prostitute because of the money, the power, and the “love” that she craved. So, in hindsight, she cautioned the girls, when faced with temptations, to ask themselves, “What need am I trying to fill?”

If you are interested in learning more about New Friends, New Life, you might want to check out the following websites. The first is their website; the others are articles that have been written about them. These women are victims of their own poor choices and need our prayers and support.

http://pages.prodigy.net/lriley/home.html

http://www.connectionmagazine.org/archives_old/2001_05/nodirtydancing.htm

http://www.acfnewsource.org/religion/christian_strippers.html

http://www.authenticrelationships.com/pornography_michelle.php